The rationale: The reason why the trustee will not approve a disbursement to cover the particular good (service) was that simply "she didn't the beneficiary to have it. I don't think she should have it. I don't like it. I don't think it's necessary."
T for M, and M for T
The beneficiary ("B") was acutely sensitive to every mood of the Trustee ("T"), knowing deep inside, because they had known each other since childhood, that controlled his trust, that the Trustee was using her to enhance her own sense of herself as competent, powerful, and confident, vis-a-vis B who T convinced herself to see as congenitally weak, needing T to decide for B what she really needed, enjoyed, and benefited from, as if B were a vegetable who could not know what she enjoyed, who could say, "I prefer salmon to trout," to which T would say, "Are you sure that you wouldn't enjoy trout more? You know, salmon has a weird taste to it..." and so badger B that in the end she relented and said, "O.K., I'll get the trout," relieved to have ended the stand-off.
If however B were to stand her ground, this would mean usually for B to explode and in same cases even call T the vilest of epithets ("C---" on a rare occasion), which T would, even if hurt inside about the abuse, use to say, "There she goes again, going off the deep end" and in T's internal logic, "She really is a basket-case. She could use some help. She should not really be allowed to make her decisions. Mom and Dad told me I should take care of B. I owe this to them to take care of 'B' and since I know better than B [how the world works, etc.], I am totally justified in doing what I do. No need to veer off course, I'm doing everything right, B is just being difficult. But reason [my reasons] will prevail."
"I wear the pants in this relationship" could have been T's motto, and the benefactor recalled vividly a dream in which he saw his own Mother embrace her, a penis pressing against her body, a penis in a woman. The trustee had become her own Mother and vice versa.
When B realized that T was obstructing his access to it, and exacting psychological damage ('pressing his buttons" in the popular jargon) just as her own mother had done by figuratively "spanking her" (now scolding B for what the trustee said "she have should remembered, I already TOLD you this!"), she was now trapped for the rest of her lifetime in suffering and conflict.
Everything could be used against the beneficiary, the most intimate details, by T to maintain or consolidate control, as well as B.'s
deepest fears
To the point that B pleaded with the trustee if she could renounce the trust, to which the answer was a terse "Impossible, you cannot."
B would never be free of the trustee unless she, like Perseus, were able to slay this Medusa - Mother - Trustee, or unless she were able to persuade this modern-day Medusa to look in a mirror, in which she would be turned to stone as she had turned others into stone.
That fierce, implacable gaze, those eyes of stone...
To be continued
Aucun commentaire:
Enregistrer un commentaire