Real World 102: Meetings with Cynthia. F *** B ***

Anger is a natural response to disrespect and dishonesty.

Ah, but what lies beneath a smile,

 you really don't know

If you ever are pressured by Cynthia Klever (or anyone else in a similar position of supposed authority) into having a meeting in her office, only agree to one if you bring your own witness (a good friend, of course).

The idea is to provoke you into defending yourself and knock you off your balance and force you into an extremely uncomfortable position, psychologically speaking, where she'll overwhelm your defenses and force you to fight back.

The other thing is that she will lie.  This may be difficult to believe if you have placed your faith in someone who up until now has been "nice" to you, practically "a friend" (!).

At some point she will act as if she's a high magistrate or even God and you're some lowly --. Very offensive.  No one should act that way.

And in one one fell swoop before that transformation, she will turn on you and begin to attack/accuse/blame you. Unbelievably, she's capable of stooping low, very low to dig up things about you and distort your "record" (!) and act from a tone of superiority and familiarity which will be difficult to stomach, as, if you're like me, think that all along here's a real zero as a person on the scale of culture, intellect, discernment, sensitivity, ethics, or sophistication.

Yeah, she's a 10 on the scale of ambition, social psychology, and energy, but I'm assuming she didn't go to Wellesley.

No wonder she has the front desk remember the names of all members and sits in an office directly opposite the elevator.  In reality, you're really just something, a number, a face with a name attached to it, she's smiling at and managing. She has no real interest in you, appearances aside. Anything you say could be held against you, hard as it may be to believe (a health club, for Christ's sake!).

People who are non-comformists may have difficulties, especially if you repeatedly post negative things about this organization on "social media." 

If you're a business executive, high-level bureaucrat (e.g., Ron Sims), yeah, she'll know it and keep her respectful distance.

She could become CEO of United Way King County tomorrow but still be not be so different from a hick from a small town in West Texas.   Like me, you may have had to hide your real feelings of uneasiness about her.  After all, how could you not be, if not exactly charmed, at least lulled into a sense of safety by her cheerful, bubbly all-American demeanor.

And I suppose she's not so different from many people that work at the top of a pyramid in a non-profit (so I've been informed)in that she's amoral. She's thinking about things in terms of power, not right or wrong.

If she does something "for you," it's in terms of how it will benefit her either in the short or long run.  It's always a calculation in her mind, I believe.

(Although I don't think her treating me like a recalcitrant criminal was a miscalculation on her part and unnecessary, considering how many real or would-be criminals and miscreants there are going in and out of the downtown YMCA every day.*)

I don't totally understand her strategy, but that, in a nutshell, is as much as I can say.

I can sort of imagine what it would be like to actually be an employee of the downtown Y. She'd treat you like her employee, something she owns.  What if you thought she were a real pig?  Dilemma.  If someone asked you what you thought of her, you'd be in a bind.  Pretend or tell the truth?

From my meeting with her on July 7, 2015--which I never should have agreed to, despite her threat--I gather that I am not the first person to call her to her face a f*** b***.

The weird thing is that in 22 years of being a member of the YMCA (downtown Y or Meredith Matthews), I never had any conflict with the director.  In fact, I barely knew them, I don't remember any of their names except for Kyle at the downtown branch, who was fair and low-key, without pretense.

She got what she wanted.

She gets what she wants.

She's such a nice person.

Americans, in my view, including myself, confuse the surface with what lies beneath it substance.

It's only the surface we see, and it's only the surface people want us to see.

We are easily duped.

We are in love with surface appearances.

But when what is hidden by the smile is a wolf, 
we may feel a combination of shock, hurt, betrayal, and anger.

                                                           

She got what she wanted.
"Such a nice person."

F ***   B ***

* I don't mean to imply that among the masses of economically disadvantaged going into the downtown Y every day that most have misdemeanors or worse records.  It's still probably a small but important percentage.